It’s what you do with the feeling that counts.
Oftentimes during a sport psychology session, on the cusp of a breakthrough, a client will share something they’ve been keeping to themselves. But before doing so, they offer a disclaimer. “I know I shouldn’t feel this way,” they say, “But…”
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It can teach us life lessons, but it’s not always that deep.
"I'm going to go out there and prove I'm a good person." This declaration was made by a young woman who was an excellent tennis player and even better person. It was during a sport psychology session, and we had been discussing her struggles handling pressure and staying focused during critical points, both of which require mental skills that, if honed, can serve a player not only on court but also in life. So I knew (or thought I knew) what she was getting at. She had a big competition coming up, and she wanted to convince herself she had what it takes to do well. But it was deeper than that for her. Tennis was a core part of her identity, and having accepted the notion that “tennis is life,” this tournament felt like a referendum on her goodness as a person. It’s about more than just putting in the time.
If you want to be great at a sport – or great at anything, really – you must be willing to put the time into it. A lot of time. The consensus is that it takes ten years and 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to become an expert. And deliberate practice requires more than just showing up. Indeed, some people “practice” for years and barely get better, while others improve by leaps and bounds. It’s not just about showing up, but also how you show up. In this column, we cover five guidelines for getting the most out of your practice time. “If you don’t know where you are going,
you’ll end up someplace else.” - Yogi Berra Goals are the driving force of our efforts. Whenever we read a book, listen in class, or run down a drop shot, it’s because we’re pursuing a goal. Same goes for hopping in a car and driving somewhere. We do this because we’ve got a destination in mind, and as the Yankee legend quoted above so cleverly reminds us, if we aren’t aware of our goals, we’re unlikely to achieve a desired result. Thoughtful goal setting is a foundation of success. A helpful guideline for setting effective goals is to make them SMART. This acronym stands for: Specific, Measurable, Achievable (with effort), Relevant, and Time-based. Let’s look at each of these in turn. If you want to perform well under pressure, look at how you relate to it.
Do you swing a racket? Then surely you’ve had the fantasy - imagined yourself playing on the biggest stage, with thousands of people watching live (and millions more on TV) and holding their breath as you battle through an extended rally on match point, winning a grand slam in dramatic fashion. It’s the stuff of dreams, and in your dreams the pressure of the moment is part of the appeal. Winning would be ideal, but even if you lose, wouldn’t it be great to play a leading role in such exciting drama? Many of us strive to act responsibly, yet responsibility in the extreme can lead to anxiety. See this post from edgeforscholars.org for an explanation.
https://edgeforscholars.org/the-thrills-and-perils-of-living-on-the-edge-anxiety-edition/ We have plenty of obsessions and compulsions. Whether it's disordered is less clear.
https://edgeforscholars.org/ocd-in-the-time-of-covi-19/ Click below for insights from providing therapy during COVID-19:
https://edgeforscholars.org/emotional-connecting-while-social-distancing/ Those with the power to stop harassment and other forms of bad behavior have a responsibility to do so. This post from edgeforscholars.org provides advice on how to do your part.
edgeforscholars.org/spiderman-as-a-scholar-fighting-the-crime-of-harassment-in-academia/ If you ever feel like you don't belong, this post from edgeforscholars.org is a must-read.
edgeforscholars.org/think-youre-an-imposter-heres-how-to-know-for-sure/ |